Well, well, well, sh*t always gets more interesting.
Al had Milan this whole time. I was suspicious of that idea, and I wish I was wrong. I would go to hell with Al and Buch both, but not over this. Even I have scruples. I hope this doesn’t blow up in his face, because I’ve already told him that I will not save him from that mistake. And I know that Buch cannot know. He must remain clean, no matter what.
I am greatful that Al(with the help of Milan) has managed to mend me, but I cannot agree with his means. It just feels wrong. I would rather have died than know to what ends he has gone.
I pitty Milan. I do not know what he has done with her, but she sounds miserable. I don’t even know her very well, and although my music sounds like the point of view of the most sociopathic f*ck-head on earth, I cannot help but feel for her. I hope she doesn’t suffer for much longer. But I also hope Al doesn’t get caught. He is still needed, and I still think of him fondly.
This is all very troubling. I feel as if any chance of being admitted to any form of afterlife paradise may be lost for Al and I both.
May we share the same room in Hell.